I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
