I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize