Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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