I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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