Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
