Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
