I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize