this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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