Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
