Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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