It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize