i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
