Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was born a porn star she said
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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