1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I touched a dick in church today
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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