Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
