The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
did you just send me my own nude
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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