Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Alive.
So much puke
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
