Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
my liver is dry heaving
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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