My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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