this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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