My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
