Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
