don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize