just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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