Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize