Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Are my feet made of real feet?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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