Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
