in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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