I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
