Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
