areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
