is this the sara with the beer cane?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize