Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
