She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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