god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
