At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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