I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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