Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
