my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
