why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
