Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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