are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just want to make out with him forever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have tasted many bathrooms
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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