ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
