I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize