yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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