Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
