just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
