He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
