Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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