She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
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