I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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