matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
