There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
look no pants
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
