Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
