My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
