# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize