well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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