You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
