Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
