i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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