I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
