Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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