Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
