pedialite and red bull = repair kit
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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