woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
