Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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