Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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