are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
