So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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