ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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