In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
