walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
