Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
